Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
and she was petting her beer can
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
