I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
