Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
