he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
