worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I'm at about main and main street
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
