That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
