She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
