what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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