so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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