feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize