For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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