either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
