He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
