he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
