Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
