I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
