Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
