Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
