How'd it feel making her break her religion?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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