So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
You can't special order awesome
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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