well I can't set my house on fire every night
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
