I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
He felt like a one man threesome
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
