so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize