I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
