I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
