There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I take back everything I said about communal showers
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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