at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize