Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
