good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
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