He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Randomize
