3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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