Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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