okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
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