I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
