Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
