The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
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