i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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