We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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