I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize