god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
