At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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