I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
