ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
