Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
