If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
