How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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