sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
