her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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