You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
