I cut my penus on the lid.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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