they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
