my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize