Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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