He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
