i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
