Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
