i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize