I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize