literally had 100 drinks last night.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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