I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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