It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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