Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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