FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Couch. On fire.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
