SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
you had me at cake vodka
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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