The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
