It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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