Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
