it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
