Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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