You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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