if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I believe in your delicious
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
