i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Randomize
