yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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