I want to walk on stilts...naked
we made out on top of his cat.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
