I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
