You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize
