question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
tonight lets celebrate not being married
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize