she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
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