i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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